May I present to you, Part two of my Tuesday: revenge of the cosmos.

So you already know about my great work day.

I manage to get out of here at a half decent hour, but being a bleeding heart, I agree to pick my mum up from work, effectively adding 45 minutes to my driving time. My workout is scheduled at 6. I've left the office at 4.45. Uh huh. So I figure on the way home I don't have time to drop mum at her house. She's cool with this and I drive with her to the gym. She notices rain clouds and asks if I'm going to take my umbrella. I am a bad ass, so I say no. She heads home, I head to the gym. I have the world's worst workout. I realise I should have cancelled my session, headed home and slept. My trainer feels sorry for me (and those who have to witness this) and ends the session right on time. We're standing around chatting and he points out that I'm looking a wee bit pudgy these days. I announce in a very loud voice, that yes, I am pudgy because I am fucking bloated. He turns a million shades of red, I give him a hug and head out.

On the way out of the gym I run into the VERY happy and friendly member services gal (I still can't figure out how she stays so incredibly happy. Crack? E? Dunno). She asks how the workout went. I shake my head. Her smile disappears. I leave. It's raining. No worries, I've got a hood! I pull the hood on. The heavens decide that I have just done a very bad thing. The skies open up and the equivalent of a fire hose falls upon my pathetic head. I am soaked in a matter of seconds. I drop my head and mutter "d'oh". At that exact moment, a man in a shitty little car drives just close enough that the spray from his shitty little tires spray up a tsunami. I am now beyond soaked.

I head home with the intention of gorging myself on pizza and beer. But first, why don't I tinker with my new printer? You know where this is going. To make a long story short, I kinda got everything hooked up, gave up and wandered down to the pub for a beer and salad (yeah sounds healthy, but dude! It had lotsa cheese and double dressing!).

Cue credits and closing music, "Go with the flow", by Queens of the Stone Age.

Thank you, and goodnight.